Nothing or no one can convince you that you aren't hurting way down deep on the inside. But you cover up all your hurt and pain for no one else to see. When you talk about it, it hurts. You may cry or you may hold it in on the inside but you are truly hurting because you say no one knows or feels your pain. Rage begins to feel your soul when the person who has hurt you comes into your presence. If you desire to know what's truly in your heart towards the one who has hurt you. Then, it's after they have come into your presence do you realize that you truly hadnt forgiven. All sorts of things on the inside will start to go off. Red flags go up. You feel slightly intimidated or disrespected. Your flesh starts to rise and flare up. Your skin crawls. Your eyes stretch or roll. You bite your lips and ball your mouth up. Your emotions and mind are all over the place while trying to keep it all together. Your face may or may not smile but your spirit turns it's nose up at them just enough to let them know that you STILL DON'T LIKE THEM. When saying hi to them, all of a sudden you sound all sophisticated when saying, the words "HELLO" as if you have arrived. You don't know which emotion you want to let out. Your insides are boiling like hot water. Steam is poppin off you just like when water begins to pop up after it hits that high rolling boil. You want to let them have it, right then and right now. Now, I'm I telling the truth or what?
By all means you know what happened to make you feel this way. You know your pain. You know every single detail although you try so hard to forget about it but it just doesn't seem to leave you. You ask yourself why do I have to go through this? You don't understand it. You don't like it. You are fed up! You don't even want to deal with it. You want your space and never have them to come around you. You feel like death or suicide is the only way out BUT IT'S NOT! You say that it's unfair that you have to bless your enemies, pray for them who despitefully use you, feed them, give them something to drink, do this, do that, and then have to LOVE them too Lord! Yes, Show love, Act it out, Dont just say it. Love, is a hard word to express right now Lord because they have no remorse, they are still the same, they this, they that, they, they, they.
I read God's word about love and forgiveness pretty often. I have listened to others speak on love and forgiveness. These are some things that I have personally heard. "Oh, just let it go and move on" with little compassion for you or for your situation. "With Time, the healing will begin." "Oh, just write all of your problems down on a piece of paper and leave it at the altar or take the paper and go burn it and tell the devil that you gots the victory." "A new year, a new beginning, all your problems will be gone". "It's been years and you should have forgiven already." "Pour some salt in your hands, go outside on a windy day and allow the wind to blow the salt (your problems) away." "Turn around three times and God will remove it". "Run around the church and watch what God will do". "Give your best sacrificial offering and God will move that thang in 30 days". "Come on down and let's cast out the demon of unforgiveness." (Note: Forgiveness is voluntarily done by an individual, not by someone casting it out of you. Because it will come back 7 times stronger if you aren't voluntarily and willing to forgive). "Take my cloth home with you and God will do it". I have heard it all since I have been in the gospel. But also faith without works is dead.
If you want something badly, you go after it. If you want love and forgiveness, then you go after God's Own Heart. You begin to seek Him intimately. Imitate Him daily by applying, doing, acting out, and performing His word. (pausing to say Thank You Jesus!) You can't JUST say I forgive & stop here. You must have a desire, a want, a craving, a yearning to forgive and allow the Lord to move in and through you at all times. Sometimes you want it so badly that you, yourself will bring more pain to yourself and the situation if not lead by the Holy Spirit. What I mean is that when your desire to forgive is so deep to please the Lord, you can actually move in your own flesh by going to your offender with the right intentions in mind to say that I love you and forgive you, but once you are in their presence, your emotions begin to take over & you find out that you werent as ready as you thought you were. Things are out of control again & now they have something against you especially if you are a professing Christian. They tell everybody they can that you are not a real Christian and how much of a fool you have acted. Although, they were the one who has hurt you. Now, this is another matter that you have to bring before God to keep you from going right back to square one, unforgiveness. So you moved in your own timing and not in God's timing. But God understands and still loves you. Just learn from it & move on. If you do have a yearning in your soul to forgive, God can work with your heart including your every emotion. This is what He wants, a heart of flesh.
It is done by God's grace. But what I have found out and have come to know and understand is that nothing can be done without abiding (staying in, surviving in, remaining in) Christ. It's a healing journey. A journey is a gradual (ongoing, continuing, slow but sure) passing (transition) from one state (situation, level) to another place regarded as more advanced. Basically, you will continue to move up and out of the situation that you are in, to a more advanced, higher level so as long as you remain in Christ. Hallelujaaaaaah!! again Jesus! Stay on your journey and you will eventually find what you've been praying and asking the Lord for in prayer.
I heard a man say that you can forgive but you can never forget because it's as if you are cutting away part of the brain. I know that this is true because I can never forget the pain that I have suffered BUT I CAN TRULY FORGIVE. Some memories do fade with time and by God's grace. But when something has brought much pain and misery to your life, it's hard to forget or to let go, but not with Christ! It's as if you are re-living it over and over again, day after day. That's why it's so hard for some people to forgive a person who bumps into them by mistake, steps on their shoes, spills something on their outfit, gets mad over $2 or over any amount of money, gets mad about china ware, or is easily angered about small things because they havent first dealt with the root cause of the problem. Love is not easily angered. It didnt just start with a piece of china ware or $2. This spirit derived and came from somewhere, sometime ago. It has been brooing for a long time and now everyone who gets in your path will feel your wrath. You are like a terrorist to your family and to all the ones who are in your life. No one wants to be around a person like this. Your looks are very intimidating and threatening to others.
When true forgiveness takes place, our spirit is so cool and calm. We arent easily angered anymore. When that thing comes back which had been AFFECTING our mind before, it cant affect us now the way that it used too. When it comes into our mind, it has no effect, nor power anymore because we have the power and the authority over it, to cast it down. Our thinking is no longer the same. Our mind doesn't take us to that place of pain anymore. It can no longer have a hold on us because now we have the TRUTH (Abide in Christ). The enemy can't have your mind if you abide in Christ. He can't steal your joy, have your peace, if you abide in Christ. By abiding in Christ, our minds are being transformed and renewed. God says that He will keep us in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him. Isaiah 26:3.
Take on a mind of Christ. STAY, ABIDE, SURVIVE, CONTINUE, REMAIN IN CHRIST. This is the only way to truly let go of all the hurt and pain that you are enduring. Godly counseling is good but remember first that JESUS CHRIST AND HIS HOLY SPIRIT IS "THE WONDERFUL COUNSELOR"! SEEK ye FIRST the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and these things (love and forgiveness) will be added unto you. Matthew 6:33. God supplies our every need to move into a state of forgiveness. He will do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us! Eph 3:20 and Philippians 4:19.
God is cutting away at this thing so as you're reading! Hallelujaaaaaaaaaah!!! He is doing it! Trust Him and fall in Daddy's Arms. Bathe in His presence daily. He loves you. He didnt cause your pain. He has a good end for you. Jeremiah 29:11. Just continue to hold on. It's the spiritual warfare that's going on right now between God and Satan. He's coming through for you and He's making the crooked places straight. Hold on. He sees and knows all. It's a great JOURNEY my friend. God bless you!
Soli Deo gloria, (Glory to God Alone)
Signed AK
Question: Do you think that Jesus Christ is saying, it's unfair that He forgave US when we despitelly use Him and curse Him?
Was He overcharged?
Oct.13, 2009
The content on my pages from the NIV & King James version of the Bible, other's quotes, dreams, visions, and from the Webster's dictionary are not my copyrights.
